Parents: Do you want your kids to think, speak, and stand up for themselves in these crazy times when there are SO many social pressures? The key is to develop their inner power and for them to have a STRONG sense of self. This is not taught at school. And it’s not something you can lecture your child into becoming either. The power needed to resist peer pressure is modeled by YOU.
Want to set your child up for success?
Are you willing to look at your relationship with them?
Are you ready to make changes to the way you relate to yourself?
There are 3 things you’ll want to master, that I share below. These suggestions will give your child a HUGE advantage when dealing with negative peer pressure! And YOU will also grow into your own power along the way.
How My Son Has Resisted Peer Pressure
I’ve been homeschooling my son for 6 years now. Long story short, we pulled him out of kindergarten, at his request, when he was experiencing bullying and other social challenges. He knew that homeschooling was my heart’s desire and our plan B. And so it was a fairly easy switch for my family.
Don’t worry, this is not a video about homeschooling!
I’m telling you this so you know that my son’s emotional well-being has always been my priority. I understand this topic of peer pressure well because of my experience with attachment parenting, the influence of Gabor Mate’s work, and child development studies as part of my work in Pediatric Chinese Medicine Practitioner. And I’ll be sharing personal experiences and what I’ve learned to help you and your child handle peer pressure.
Even though my son is really sensitive, he’s been extremely resistant to peer pressure. This is something I’ve always admired about him! He’s unique in many ways and walks to the beat of his own drum.
These last 2 years were a bit more challenging. The pressures around the Covid lockdowns, masking, and vaccination (yes, this was even felt among homeschoolers) have rocked our family. For the most part, my son has stayed strong to his values throughout. He never caved to any pressures he wasn’t comfortable with.
I do think this is largely because of the way he was raised. It’s also because I’m very mindful of these 3 steps I’ll be sharing with you now.
3 Suggestions For Building Your Child’s Inner Strength And Resist Peer Pressure
1. Make sure your bond with your child stronger than that of his peers
Friends are important! Absolutely! But their relationship with you is more important. If your child doesn’t listen to you or respect you, or if your child fears you – then there’s very little you can do to help them with social situations like peer pressure.
You can turn this around at any point though. Even if your child is a tween or teen, it’s not too late. Get to know your child. Participate in the things they’re interested in.
I highly recommend getting the book Hold On To Your Kids by Gabor Mate and Gordon Neufeld if you need further convincing that this is an important step. This book has many suggestions on how you can heal your relationship with your child so they are less peer-oriented.
(Peer orientation means that they look to their friends for support and advice more than their parents – and this leaves them majorly vulnerable to peer pressure).
You need to find a way to reconnect with your child.
2. Teach Self-love & To Trust Themselves & Their Authentic Nature
In order for your child to feel comfortable leaving the crowd that’s pressuring them, they need to love and trust themselves. If they do, it won’t matter what others think of them. They can’t be persuaded to do something in order to be more cool. They won’t follow what someone else says who claims they know more or have better judgement.
To develop love and trust within your child, they need to feel it from you. They need to feel that they are lovable and trustworthy.
- Show them that you love them unconditionally, whether they do a good job with something or not.
- Don’t hold back your love as punishment.
- Allow them to make their own child-appropriate decisions about certain things.
- Without labeling the consequences good or bad, point out how they either got their desired result or that they learned a really valuable lesson.
- Find a way to teach them about self-growth, how to constantly improving themselves. Do it in a way that doesn’t focus on mistakes in the past. This can make them regretful and doubt themselves and their abilities.
- Encourage them to trust their gut and their intuition when making choices. Help them break away from always needing proof from a “higher” authority.
This step is one that you need to model too. You cannot show up fully for your child if you don’t love and trust yourself. If you do have this inner love & trust then what you teach them is just an extension of what you are. Modeling is the easiest teaching tool in parenting.
3. Teach your child how to establish boundaries
How? Again, this step is all about YOU and YOUR own boundaries.
Are you always available for everyone?
How do you guard your self-care time?
When someone asks you a personal question that makes you uncomfortable, how do you answer?
Your child sees and feels all of this.
My family understands how important my self-care and spiritual practices are. They would never dare to discount any of it, even if they don’t do it themselves, they don’t understand what I’m doing, they understand why. I have an energetic boundary there that they cannot cross.
My son has adopted his own boundaries. We respect his personal space, his hobbies & interests and hobbies. As a family, we all respect the ways that we are different. So when my son feels that we’re crossed a boundary with him, he lets us know! We give him a lot of space to express his feelings.
And so if you’re doing the same with yourself and your family, it will be easier for your child to have boundaries with his friends and other children too. They won’t tolerate being talked to disrespectfully and won’t be persuaded to do things they don’t really want to do. And they’ll have the courage to speak up when needed. They will be able to handle peer pressure.
And honestly, I believe they need stronger boundaries with other adult authority figures like teachers too, for the few that bring politics and activism into the classroom. If your child feels safe establishing boundaries with you (and I do not mean that your child runs the house btw, but has strong personal boundaries about somethings they really care about), then they will feel safe confronting adults who are abusing their power and influence over children.
How To Build Inner Strength As You Help Your Child
Much of what I’ve shared here will not just help your child resist peer pressure – you’ll also benefit as a parent. This is the beginning of ancestral healing, when you can tap into your own authentic nature, establish greater personal power, and that is what you are passing on to your child.
If you want to develop your own personal power more, a great place to start would be taking my free 5 day authenticity challenge.
You’ll get the lessons sent straight to your inbox and have plenty of time to practice and integrate them. Sign up for it here.
Please share this article with any friends who can use this support!
Grateful blessings to you friend…
