I want to share a deep and very personal story with you. It’s about the day I almost died. I’ve only told this near-death experience story a few times. Since I’m doing more work in the public lately to help women heal, I feel it’s important for me to share the lessons learned from it. I think it’ll be interesting for you to learn how my near-death experience improved my life. Hopefully you will find it inspiring enough to make significant changes in your life too!
I highly recommend watching my video below even if you want to read the blog text too. The emotion and immensity of this situation better felt through the video.
The Day I Almost Died
It was around the year 2000/2001 when I was working in biotech. My boss and some co-workers taught me how to surf at Cowell’s Beach in Santa Cruz. It’s a pretty mellow beach to learn at.
Surfing came really easy to me! I’m pretty strong and I have really good balance. I thought that’s all I needed to be “good”. I did NOT have great judgement though which was a huge mistake! You’ll hear about in a moment…
I bought my own board and I was trying to surf at every opportunity. But I was feeling like I wanted more of a challenge! So one day in Winter (around Christmas), I decided to go out on a day where waves were projected to be over head high.
I didn’t think about how variable the waves could be.
Honestly, I didn’t think much at all!
Instead, I let my passion and ego lead. I talked my friend (who I had a huge crush on) into going with me and just assumed we would have a blast.
How Did I Get Myself In This Mess?!
I don’t remember seeing anyone else in the water when we arrived which was red flag #1, but we ignored this. My friend and I disagreed on where to surf. He wanted to go more east toward the pier, which I thought was idiotic because we might get smashed against it. So I stayed in the middle, between the rocks and pier where it was more open.
It took forever to paddle past the beach break. Several times I was thrown back and tossed like I was in a washing machine. I kept on persistently paddling out again.
Once I got past the beach break and realized how big the waves were, I freaked out. The swells were huge and powerful. I realized that I was stuck – it was ride a wave or sit here until they died down.
Each time I felt a huge swell rising underneath me I would pull back on my board, terrified to be taken with it. I finally understood that I needed to “drop in” first before gliding across the wave and from this height, if I fell in I would likely be crushed by the power of it.
My Beautiful Near-Death Experience
At one point I found myself on the crest of a wave that seemed to be over 10 feet high. I knew that if I took that wave, that if I allowed myself to fall in, I was going to die. This was communicated to me on what felt like a very emotional and spiritual level.
I knew this was a huge shift because as I was looking down inside this wave all of my fear disappeared. The moment stretched out to what felt like minutes instead of seconds.
It was the most beautiful thing I have every experienced. The sound of the rushing water, the sparkling surface – it was inviting, and it was peaceful.
I knew that I was being offered a choice and that my soul would be fine, which ever one I chose. My life at the time was very lukewarm. I was in my late 20s, single, and living alone. I was in a job that was paying the bills, but that I didn’t enjoy. It was tempting to “let go” and end it.
But then I thought about the potential my life held for a relationship, children, and making a difference in the world. I did not want to die.
So I pulled back even harder, but it wasn’t with fear. I said to myself that if I could pull back and live, that would be best, but I was fine if I fell in and if it was now outside of my control.
I didn’t fall in, and that wave passed.
Before I could start worrying again about how I was going to keep it up and get out of this mess (because more waves were building!), I was rescued.
Like out of a dream, this extremely handsome lifeguard who looked like a merman paddled up to me and asked me to hold on to his board. He swam both of us to shore safely.
Near Death Experience lessons
I sat on the shore while some other lifeguards rescued my friend with a boat. The gravity of the situation started to sink in. I felt so stupid, but also tremendously grateful. My life, I could finally see, is blessed.
These realizations changed my life:
1. The Ocean, Nature, and GOD are One
The ocean’s power humbled me from that day forward, seeing how easily it could have taken my life. But that experience also bonded me to the ocean. It now holds a strong spiritual significance for me. I believe I was communicating with God through that ocean wave.
I was agnostic at the time. Conversing with God through nature was extremely profound as I realized that God is all around me and that I am loved.
Even though I stopped surfing a few years later, I still love being in the water and even just meditating on the shore. It has deeper meaning for me now.
2. I Should Not Fear Death.
Again, I knew death was near because of the shift from fear to peace. I now know that this is probably what I can expect to find when death come for me later, and I am cool with that! This is why I don’t fear things that other people do like disease. I really feel that those who are constantly afraid of dying are not listening to God. Death is peaceful when we accept that as our fate (which is true for all of us at some point). It’s as precious as birth.
3. Choice Points Are Offered To Us That Can Alter Our Lives
Another realization I had is that throughout our lives very important choice points come up. Some of these are actually exit points where we can leave this life and continue on. This was very much a choice point for me that could have been an endpoint.
Recently I’ve been processing this more. I really feel that these choice points are predestined. What else would I do something so stupid as to go out in the ocean by myself in huge winter waves? I feel like I was paddling to my destiny and that this was part of my spiritual evolution.
These 3 insights help me lead a life that is very intentional and purpose-driven because I’m not here to waste time anymore. I’m going to live life to the fullest! I let me heart lead, not my head or ego. And I’m not going to be careless with my life either taking risks for the thrill of it. I appreciate the simple moments in life that are truly precious.
My near-death experience was beautiful and propelled me forward on my spiritual journey. But for some people, it can be a traumatic experience, especially if they are not able to process it on a spiritual level.
If you carry trauma from a near-death experience or any other life situation, I strongly encourage you to heal NOW!
Life is short!
Wouldn’t you rather spend the rest of your life focused on joy instead of letting your fears hold you back in life?
And if you’re a parent, it’s important to understand that you can be projecting and passing down this trauma to your children. Healing yourself now can heal your child and prevent further damage..
Well wishes friend…